A loyal soul, stories of your generosity have become the fabric legend. Always there in a time of need. You meant so much to so many.
2018 has not been a great year for me. Watching my youth unravel in the obituary section is not the way I want to face reality but I would have never guessed these losses would hit so close to home.
On July 29th 2018, I lost my younger brother Doug. Once we pass forty, the grim reaper is seemingly around every bend. We never consider longevity when we are in our twenties but unfortunately the choices we make at that age shape our future.
I apologize for not addressing this loss sooner but the circumstances surrounding Doug’s demise have been clouded from the start. Like working a puzzle without a picture, the answers have come slowly and have been short lived.
More than a month later, I’ll admit the photograph is still out of focus. There is no definitive answer. Stymied and left empty, I wish I knew how to feel about this loss. I can make assumptions but that’s not the way I want to remember. A loyal soul, stories of your generosity have become the fabric legend. Always there in a time of need. You meant so much to so many. We deserve proper closure.
Although we haven’t been in close contact these past few years, I know you’ve watched my progress from afar. I remember the times we spent in the family basement, smoking cigarettes and jamming metal. This was the dawn of the music that changed our lives. Our infatuation eventually led to the attendance live shows. Sleeping out for concert tickets was nearly as fun as the event itself!
When I headed off to college you helped me move. Football games and Frat parties. I wish I spent more time with you but responsibility dominates life as we get older, making it harder and harder to ‘follow those dreams’. I was fortunate to have your never-ending encouragement. A motivation that fills my heart every time I cross paths with an idol of our youth. You always thought I’d make it. Now I wish you could be around to see it.
When I started my family, we both knew it was the beginning of the end. The late-night escapades replaced by diapers and baby formula. Although I hoped you’d follow my lead sooner, I know we all have our own path to follow. I’m happy your life ended with a family to call your own.
As I move on in this world I know you will always be with me. If guardian angels exist in this lifetime, I will certainly have one until the end of mine. Rest in peace little brother, I will always love you. \m/
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